Darkness is not a word I used in my vocabulary very often.
I didn’t think I ever had to talk about darkness.
I know loneliness very well, and I know sadness and happiness but never really knew the lady of darkness. Why?
Not because it hasn’t been dark but because when it’s really dark you can’t see even darkness itself.
And you get used to seeing inside the darkness.
A few nights ago I had a dream, darkness came.
She looked so dark, so menacing.
She grabbed me and lifted me off the ground and in that shaking of my whole body when she dropped me, I woke.
It was real. I saw darkness.
I saw her face.
And it hit me.
Like a ton of bricks.
I have been living inside a different kind of darkness lately.
But because I taught myself how to see inside the dark night of the soul I didn’t know it was all happening inside darkness.
I did not know it was dark.
Until that dream.
Until darkness left me.
My guess is, she was sick and tired of me seeing through her.
She didn’t like the fact that I went on smiling regardless of her darkness.
You see, happiness is not about being happy when life is good.
I call that good circumstances.
Happiness is finding your joy inside darkness itself.
I also learned that during the course of our lives there will be many different shades of dark.
Grief is a dark darkness.
Fear is slightly lighter but still dark.
Depression is gray darkness.
Resilience is darkness with a dim light inside of it.
Life Reentry is short bright glimpses of light.
Presence is pure light.
Freedom is brightness.
Soul is light itself.
The soul does not know darkness intimately.
It learns it from the stories it hears from the self.
I have had a lot of dark stories to share with my soul over the course of 11 years.
I know you have too.
But here is the truth I learned.
Darkness does not like it when you see right through her.
The more you see life and joy inside your dark days the more likely it is for darkness to lift.
She gives up.
Today I am going to ask you to keep seeing life no matter how dark and grey your days are.
It is in the darkness of our lives that we learn how to create happiness inside of ourselves.
And when that happens, darkness is thrown out the door.
P.S. SAN DIEGO FRIENDS: I am hosting a ‘LIVE Coffee with Christina’ afternoon in Loews Hotel in Coronado on July 21st at 1:00pm. Unfortunately the space we rented only has 60 spaces or so. Make sure you grab your ticket asap here. See you all there.