I never thought I would say this but here it goes.
Fear is bigger than grief.
It is bigger than tragedy.
I am sorry to break this to you, but holding on to our story has nothing to do with sadness and loss.
It has nothing to do with what terrible things have happened to us.
But it has everything to do with being afraid to live again.
Afraid to trust again.
Afraid to let go of the comfort of grief’s waiting room.
The safe place where we live in the story of loss.
If we hold on to the story,
to the tragedy, to the abandonment we get excused from living the life we were meant to have.
Sorry to tell you this.
But it is an easy way out.
An easy way to say no to going on a date, changing careers, taking risks, and re-entering life.
I don’t blame you. I did the same. I was the widow, the single parent, the person with no help.
You see you are not sad.
You are just scared.
You are not grieving you are just waiting.
Waiting for what?
An easier day?
The prince on the white horse to come rescue you out of the waiting room?
So here is what I know for sure.
Luck finds you when you break that lock on the door and step outside.
The Lottery shows up through new people you get to meet when you venture in to the world.
And the Prince with his white horse does not gallop inside the waiting room, he is out in the woods enjoying the fresh air and life. Sadness is real I get it.
I know it.
I have experienced it.
But when does it go from sadness to fear?
Are you fully aware of that moment?
Is it possible that what keeps you inside is not your grief but your paralyzing fear of losing again?