When Grief Causes Guilt


18 months ago, I didn’t think my friends wanted me to live anymore. Why? Let’s discuss it. Guilt is one of the most commonly experienced emotions of grief and one of the least talked about. In my estimation, guilt is a universal symptom of grief; I’ve never met a griever that didn’t struggle with…

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You have always been the storm


My heart was beating almost as if it was everywhere. Not just inside my chest. But inside the two hundred and fifty humans that were waiting to hear me speak. It was on the walls of the conference room. Inside the mic on my blouse. On the stage. Like a storm of heartbeats. That is how scared…

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I Stopped Internally Combusting


I stopped it. It was only for a few seconds. A few seconds not being who I had been. The stop, crushed me. The interruption of who I was, brought on panic. I interrupted the force that had kept me going. The engine I installed inside my brain to keep me from losing my mind after loss, was for a few…

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Endings


It was not like any other day. Something was in the air. A heaviness, with no name. A knowing. A goodbye. An Ending. A full stop. And it was known. Nothing could prevent it. Nothing at all. It was coming. Like all endings do. The Ending arrived quietly. Almost like a whisper. “I am here, and I need…

Read More

When Grief Causes Guilt


18 months ago, I didn’t think my friends wanted me to live anymore. Why? Let’s discuss it. Guilt is one of the most commonly experienced emotions of grief and one of the least talked about. In my estimation, guilt is a universal symptom of grief; I’ve never met a griever that didn’t struggle with…

0 Comments12 Minutes

Read More

You have always been the storm


My heart was beating almost as if it was everywhere. Not just inside my chest. But inside the two hundred and fifty humans that were waiting to hear me speak. It was on the walls of the conference room. Inside the mic on my blouse. On the stage. Like a storm of heartbeats. That is how scared…

0 Comments3 Minutes

Read More

I Stopped Internally Combusting


I stopped it. It was only for a few seconds. A few seconds not being who I had been. The stop, crushed me. The interruption of who I was, brought on panic. I interrupted the force that had kept me going. The engine I installed inside my brain to keep me from losing my mind after loss, was for a few…

0 Comments3 Minutes

Read More

Endings


It was not like any other day. Something was in the air. A heaviness, with no name. A knowing. A goodbye. An Ending. A full stop. And it was known. Nothing could prevent it. Nothing at all. It was coming. Like all endings do. The Ending arrived quietly. Almost like a whisper. “I am here, and I need…

0 Comments3 Minutes

Read More