It’s all on YOU.


The truth about starting over is that it doesn’t just happen on its own.

Your next chapter, your Second Firsts won’t just show up at your door with a big smile.

The truth is, it’s all on YOU.

Even though I believe in my work of life re-entry as I have been able to help many people mend their broken hearts it is not because of me that they heal.

It is because of the actions and work they did during the weeks we spent together.

It is because they did not stop when everything seemed to be going against them.

It is because they believed in their life ahead.

They wanted to start over.

They valued life more than they valued grief.

They allowed themselves to laugh again, love again and act again.

It is not because I am that amazing and that profound. Let me say this loud and clear. The credit belongs to them.

Not me.

I so wish I had the ability to heal everyone. But I don’t. Without your help I cannot help you.

Unfortunately this is all on you.

It’s all on you.

You are the one who gets to wake up every morning and look at yourself in the mirror and find the strength to smile back.

You are the one who feels the heartbreak in your chest and chooses to breath through it.

You are the brave one to ask for help.

You are the one in the arena fighting for a chance of second first.

And without you and your courage I cannot help you.

What I am about to ask of you today is to give yourself some tough love.

I am going to ask you to step outside of your routine this weekend.

You see Grief lives in a timeless way.

It meets us in our past, present and future.

It greets us in our reality and in our thoughts.

In our sleep and during our awake time.

But what Grief knows how to do very well is create habits and fool us into believing that our heart is still very broken and it is not capable of healing. The only way we can break away from its chambers is by taking action outside of the routine of grief.

Just know that it will be uncomfortable at first to feel fully alive again.

It will not feel good to get out there.

And your brain will try to lie to you as much as possible and find many reasons as to why you should stick to your schedule.

Am I asking for a lot?

I wish I had better news but it is all on you. The first step I would suggest is, a little white lie to yourself.

Tell yourself that you are ready to step outside and take life on!

Can you do that?

Comments

  1. almost fours years..I have met someone…and yet I feel guilty and like I am betraying my late husband….how do you get past that? I know in my heart that he would not have waited this long….

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Christina Rasmussen

Welcome to the Message in a Bottle page, here you will find wisdom, truth and tools for you to start over. Make sure you sign up at the top to be sure to receive it in your inbox every Friday.