Homework-Week One

Week One Homework

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Action

Start by shifting your focus one thought at a time. This exercise will create a new path
in your brain and will interrupt the habit of grieving in a continuous loop. We begin with
this in order to set the tone of this journey. Your awareness of your thinking is going to be
higher after this exercise:

1. What is the primary focus in your life right now? Be honest in your answer to this
question so that you begin to see the living environment of your mind.

2. What is the primary emotion in your life right now? In other words, what is the default
setting your emotional world is experiencing no matter the day you are having?

3. Now that you have written down the primary focus in your life and your primary
emotion, what would you like to replace them with? Be adventurous with your response. I would like you to think outside of your grief loop for this one.

4. What activity helps you be closer to your replacement emotions?

5. Open your calendar and schedule some time for that activity either today, or within the next 24 hours.

6. Share below your replacement emotion and what activity brings it out.

Action Two

THE PRACTICAL SIDE OF GRIEF

Grief takes away our energy. Grief is an emotional condition, but it takes over our body. I actually believe that grief is as much a physical condition as a mental or emotional one. We are told to slow down and take time to grieve; however, our body’s ability to physically feel alive actually deteriorates. Our daily habits change and grief’s new routine takes place.

1. Write down the three physical activities in which you experienced the most drastic
decrease in energy during your first month after loss. For example, did your physical energy decrease when it came to certain activities? How long did that decrease in physical energy last?

2. Could you still exercise, or did you give up that physical activity?

3. Were you still doing your chores at home? Did someone else take that over for a short period of time? If someone did take over your chores, how did it feel when you were left to do it on your own again?

4. What would your life after loss have been like if had you not given up on any practical and physical aspects of your life?

5. For one day, can you go back to that full physical activity from before the loss?

6. How does it feel now?

Action Three
IN SEARCH OF THE TURNING POINT OF GRIEF

When you are grieving, there are many turning points and so many doors we could go through to let go of some of our grief. But we are surrounded by so much of grief ’s chatter that we are unable to see those turns coming up or those doors opening before us. This exercise will make you a little more aware of those signposts showing where you can exit and take a breather, or even start your life a little further away from your grief.

1. Have you found yourself feeling furious about something that is not working, and which has not been working for a while? What is it, and how long has it bothered you?

2. If you could measure your frustration level from 0 to 10, with 10 being the worst, where do you fall on that scale?

3. If the strength from within you, inside your core was activated and it took over, what do you see yourself doing?

4. Now envision doing it, and spend five minutes or less doing what your strength within is guiding you to do.

5. Now measure yourself on that scale; has the frustration gone down?

6. Are you willing to act on it?

7. What is the first step to turning your vision into reality?

Action Four
THE UNLEASHING OF YOU, THROUGH GRIEF’S PORTAL

1. What is the difference between you and the people who surround you? Be very specific
in your description. When you record those differences, you will start to recognize your new self.

2. Are you still trying to be like the person you used to be or are you willing to look at the new you that is emerging?

3. What are your real expectations about the people who are in constant communication with you? This is very important for you to know, as you will need to understand why attachments to old connections that are not working might need to re-evaluated.

4. If the new you found its way out, what kinds of friends or relationships would you be seeking?

5. Is there a new connection you can make today? Think of people you have accidentally met whom you were able to connect with. Who are they and when can you see them again?