“The intention should not be to go and look for love after loss, but to seek to bring yourself back to life.”

– Christina Rasmussen

7 Rules for Loving a Grieving Heart

Loss is a universal experience. Grief is a response to loss. Thus, grief is a universal experience. Every single person, at some time, in some way, will grieve. They will experience the roaring ravages of love and loss, the gaping hole torn in the center of the only life they’ve ever known, and the void that now stands in its wake. And yet, despite an incidence of 100%, our cultural grief support…

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Threesome

Six years after my beloved husband’s sudden death, I finally found love again. I am deeply, madly, passionately, in love. It is wonderful. It is terrifying. It is crazy weird. Being in love with two men. I'm not into bigamy. I'm not even into threesomes. But really, truly …. that’s what this is. A threesome. But not the kinky kind. Not the sex kind that you're thinking of. It's a new kind of…

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Confessions of a Widower

When you open my book, Even if You Don't, you’ll find it has four parts. Part One is called The Hand and the Heart, Part Two is The Bend in the Road, Part Three details The War, and Part Four is titled The Gloaming. What you won’t find is Part Five – The Wasteland. But it was once there. And unfortunately, my decision to erase it from the published manuscript does nothing to erase it from…

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The Jury Has Made Its Decision

As a widowed person, I sometimes feel as if I’m been convicted of something. Perhaps I did something wrong, and I just don't remember. Being widowed is sort of like having to plead your case, take the Fifth, plead insanity, to a Jury of your “peers”, over and over and over Again.   For some reason, when you become widowed, people seem to think that this gives them the right to give any and…

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No More Lies After Loss

‘The Life we live, is the lesson we teach’ my friend Jim Kwik mentioned in one of his writings. I read it just before I was going to sit down and write to you. And it hit me. The life I live. Is the lesson I teach. Thank you Jim, for putting it so simply. As it allowed me to come clean with myself. And you might be wondering, what does this have to do with loss? Everything. Really,…

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Loss of Connection Does Not Mean Loss of Love

It is in the gathering of our family and friends that we see ourselves. It is at the dinner table and the get togethers that we realize we are not alike. It is then, when you learn the most about yourself. You learn that you have changed. You observe that you are not as alike as you used to be. This seeing does not have to be painful. Expect to see more of what has changed in you when others…

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Romance May Not Be the Answer after Loss

Maybe I should talk about him more. The man who is now my husband. Maybe I should tell you about how I fell in love. Maybe I should talk about romance, dating and all the things that people confuse with true life reentry after loss. Maybe it is a disservice to you that I never really talk about finding a partner again. Maybe I should just join the thousands of authors that teach people how to…

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Choose the Red Shoes

Life Reentry after loss is risky. Yup, it is. But it's even riskier not doing so. Regrets are tough. Mistakes are easier. We can learn from our mistakes but there is not much we can get out of regrets. (Click to Tweet!) Please go out into the world. Take small risks. Give yourself back to life. Every day. And you know what? I tell myself the same thing. Go out into the wild. Go to…

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Look for Your Future Person

Lately, I have been talking a lot about love. I don’t normally. Not because there is anything wrong with loving again after loss but I deeply believe that Life Reentry™ after loss has to do with our whole self reemerging and not just finding one person to love. So, I often stay away from writing about it. But even though that is the main principle I live my life by I also believe that loving…

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Go beyond Your Broken Heart

Sometimes I want to get up and start screaming, so we can wake up from the sleep we are all under. Yes, I say we, this includes me too. Why do we have to have a tragic experience to be awakened? Why do we have to be shaken to our core to change the channel we are watching? Why do we have to witness death so we can feel alive? I wish I could show you your wholeness even when you are broken.…

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