The three dinner tables are no longer here.

When every part of you is being stripped away because you are grieving it takes a long time to see what part of you is coming back and what part of you is new. Sometimes no parts come back. You get completely stripped away. And for a while you have nothing. You are empty. Confused Read More

She walked inside my closet and my face turned red

She walked inside my closet and my face turned red. “Oh no. It is so messy in there.” I said running behind her. “Oh it’s fine. Don’t worry about that.” she said and stayed in there. My closet was the messiest place inside my house. The place I wanted to hide from everyone. Words cannot Read More

Breaking and Mending 11 Years Later…

I get mad at myself when I am afraid. How dare I feel fear? How do I even have the right to complain? I get to live. He didn’t. He was the one who climbed the mountains for fun. He was the one who jumped in the cold water of the ocean. But I was Read More

I Used to Compare My Old Life with My New One

I used to compare every moment of my life to the moments of my life before the loss. I used to understand and experience my life based on how my life used to be. The ‘glasses’ I wore belonged to a life that was no longer here. Now imagine the images that I got through Read More

When Sugar Calls You, Don’t Answer the Phone.

This Message in a bottle is for you if over the last few years you have gained weight and no matter what you do you can’t release it. It has surrounded you like a protective layer that keeps you inside the waiting room. If this speaks to you keep reading but forgive me for this Read More

The Lady of Darkness

Darkness is not a word I used in my vocabulary very often. I didn’t think I ever had to talk about darkness. I know loneliness very well, and I know sadness and happiness but never really knew the lady of darkness. Why? Not because it hasn’t been dark but because when it’s really dark you Read More

We Live Here, There and Everywhere

Everything that is true will always reveal itself. There is no way around this. As I am writing the new book I immerse myself inside every science and spirituality book so I can understand the nature of death. Who are we? Where did we come from? Where do we go when we are not in Read More

The Fire Became a Flame

If it was a scene in a movie when I lost my husband it would have looked like an atomic explosion. Destruction. It felt like that. And it was inside the destruction that this feeling inside of me was born. Let me tell you about this feeling. It’s like a roaring fire. A volcano that Read More

The Heart of a God Lives inside of You

Your heart breaks. Again. Even though you didn’t know it could. It didn’t break in a new place but on top of the old break. A break on top of a crack. Which can no longer be contained. Your heart breaks into billions of pieces. Scattered everywhere. The pieces are small, tiny. Never to be Read More

Choose the Red Shoes

Life Reentry after loss is risky. Yup, it is. But it’s even riskier not doing so. Regrets are tough. Mistakes are easier. We can learn from our mistakes but there is not much we can get out of regrets. (Click to Tweet!) Please go out into the world. Take small risks. Give yourself back to Read More

Christina Rasmussen

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