What if they can hear you?

What if you can talk to your child.

Your husband.

Your wife.

Your father.

Your mother.

Your friend, even after their passing.

What if that’s what we are supposed to do.

What if they want us to do that.

What if they can hear us.

What if they can talk to us?

But not unless we are willing to believe that it is possible.

You see they want us to talk to them.

Visit with them.

Our world is hesitant to deeply believe it.

But I am asking you to.

My new book will be asking you to.

I am also going to ask that you also send them signs instead of just them sending signs to you.

I know right? People always ask have you had any signs?

What about. Have you sent signs to them?

When was the last time you spoke to them?

We got a new puppy last week, and my daughter and I went to pick out a new collar for her at the pet store.

As we were at the collar isle, a store employee came over to ask us if we needed help.

And do you know what his name tag said?

My husband’s name.

Which is very rare as he was Danish.

Bjarne.

We hadn’t come across his name in 12 years and there it was as we were about to go pick up the new puppy.

Look for your person, they are always there trying to get your attention.

And don’t forget to signal back to them.

Love travels outside of the physical barriers of our reality. It is a part of a bigger universe than the one we can see. (Click Here to Tweet!)

And if you want to see the people you lost...close your eyes.

With signs and eyes closed,

Christina

P.S. Pre-order Where Did You Go here: www.wheredidyougobook.com


One Day You Will Be Asked To Fly

I was taken aback.

Stopped in my tracks.

I was about to climb again just like I normally do every day.

And that’s when I saw it.

The summit.

The top of my mountain.

I froze.

I sat there.

There was no hill to climb.

Just sky.

I didn’t know what to do with the sky.

What was I to do?

When I crawled in 2006, it took me a long time to get up.

When I got up it took me a long time to walk.

When I walked it took forever to run.

And when the climbing came, I climbed for a whole decade.

Climbed every day for so many years.

Until now.

I had reached a summit and climbing wouldn’t do.

I was so scared that I went back to crawling.

Crawling in circles.

I was begging the universe, I was begging God to let me just climb my way to this next chapter of my life also.

But it wasn’t working.

This was no longer Life Reentry which I knew how to do really well.

This was ENTRY.

This place I am about to go to I had never ever been before.

And all of my ways of living, thriving, being is not going to do.

I truly have to learn how to fly now.

You see when we keep going against all odds and we keep creating a big life we will all get to a summit, and we will be asked to fly.

I have always wanted to get to this place, the mountain top.

The place with the views.

I dreamed of it.

I even bought a house with a view of a mountain top.

I have looked at it.

Gazed at it.

And climbed towards it every day.

Now what am I to do?

Fly?

Fly to where?

The sky?

And as I am writing this, I feel the sky saying to me.

We have all been waiting for you.

Fly and the sky will hold you. Fly and we will fly with you. Fly and the world will fly next to you. (Click Here to Tweet!)

Here’s to your mountain top, your wings and your first flight my dear friend.

And remember if you are in the crawling phase always look for the mountain-top when you close your eyes.

With skies ahead,

Christina

PS. You can now pre-order my new book, my sky. My wings.

Amazon link: https://www.amazon.com/Where-Did-You-Go-Life-Changing/dp/0062689622/

Masterclass, audio sounds, notes and book: www.wheredidyougobook.com


Losing My Dog Tyson

He was with me every second of the day.

He was my shadow for exactly 8 years.

He followed me around everywhere.

Even when I would go to the bathroom he would just wait outside the door.

He would place himself at the center of the living room to see which way I would be heading to next.

And he would just look me in the eyes, trying to guess what I would do.

Of course I was his second love, food was always his first. 😀

But he was my first dog love and always will be.

His name was Tyson and I said goodbye to him this last Monday.

And I learned this...

Dog love is like human love.  But purer.  Closer to the universe. Closer to God, source, divinity.  It is almost as if we are held by a force that is constant.  We are seen, by two eyes that never let us go (Click to Tweet!)

My heart was not ready to feel what it felt last Monday.

A complete and utter break.

My eyes were gone.

The helding was over.

The physical extension of my soul vanished.

I always thought we were the ones rescuing him.

He was found in Puerto Rico as a puppy and was brought to Northern Mass where we found him at 3 months old.

We adopted him and got in the car to take him home.

Tyson was/is a chocolate lab and he sat on my lap, wrapped his paws around my right arm and squeezed me as he was shaking all the way home.

And now I know.

He came to rescue me.

To be by my side as I was trying to blend two families with not much success.

By my feet, as I wrote Second Firsts and Where Did You Go.

Founded my Institute, found my identity, my voice, my own path.

When he arrived in my life I had just started writing this blog.

Tyson I know you can hear me, thank you for being with me in my loneliest years.

In my discovery years.

My aftermath years.

And I know why you left when you did.

You believe I can do this on my own.

This new chapter. Without your gaze.

Say hi to Bjarne for me, he always wanted a chocolate lab.

And I will be seeing you…

With real devastating heartbreak for my dog Tyson,

Christina

PS. He left the day before we were going to release the pre-order campaign for my new book. So here I am doing this for the first time without him: PRE-ORDER HERE: www.wheredidyougobook.com


HOPE

It comes in like a lullaby.

Quiet at first but so melodical that you recognize it.

It calms you down and it gets you through another day.

It almost feels like it is coming from really far away, from a different place.

Outside of earth.

I am talking about Hope.

The most precious feeling especially for those of us who have been struck by loss.

For every person who feels the burden of grief.

For every kid, adult, mother, father, sister, brother, friend.

For everyone who has lost the sound of the lullaby.

I am here to tell you that it is still with you.

Hope is a part of our hardest days.

Even when nothing is left, and we feel like we have no more guts, courage or even strength to keep going we find Hope still there.

I think God is Hope. 

I think the Universe is Hope. 

I think knowing where we come from and where we are heading is Hope. 

Knowing what we are made of is Hope. 

And you are made of something divine. (Click Here to Tweet!)

Something so intelligent.

Hope is part of that intelligence and outwardly experience.

If you are having a hard day, week, month, year I am going to ask you to remember that we were made to feel hope in our darkest moments.

We hear the lullaby in the dark.

On the ground.

With nobody there to take care of us. With no money. No plan B.

That is when Hope will come and play her melody.

Only then.

And when Hope isn’t there anymore, it means that whatever is taking place we are able to get ourselves through.

I just wanted to write about Hope today, it’s September.

It’s a busy time. It’s the fall.

It’s a lot of things.

I know you may be on your knees.

And I hope this letter finds you when you need it the most.

With so much hope for every dark moment,

Christina


Goodbye Survivor, I Have Work To Do

I first met her after my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer.

Her first words were... you should have been the one dying.

It would have been easier.

Then she went on to tell me that I would not be able to raise my kids without him,

that he was the smart one.

He was the strong one.

He was the one with a job.

He was the one who could do it all.

It should have been me with the cancer.

After he died she told me how I should start looking for a job immediately and not think about my dreams.

She told me to be afraid. Very afraid.

She told me that I was not a good parent without him.

She told me I would suffer for the rest of my life.

That I would fail at everything.

She convinced me to get the job I hated. She said...it’s better than nothing.

It took me a while to figure out that she was the voice inside my head making my life after loss much worse than it had to be.

As the years went by I named her My Survivor and I have trained myself and thousands of others to gently show her the door.

My response to her took years but I finally found the strength to talk back.

And, I have been proving her wrong for the last decade.

I showed her that I am one smart woman capable of things that seemed impossible to her after he died.

I showed her that I am one heck of a mom raising my daughters.

I built my own company despite her telling me I was not worthy.

And I have been making my dreams come true regardless of her daily presence, still to this day.

Our Survivor voice does not go away... ever. Never.

As the years go by she gets very skilled, very loud, very convincing but we get really good at shutting her down.  

The Survivor self finds her way in, especially after loss, when our identity is in crisis. (Click Here to Tweet!)

I nearly believed that my life after loss would not be worth living. That was a lie.

So look out for the Survivor trying to influence you.

Start writing her words and sentences down.

What is the one thing she keeps telling you about your life after loss?

Remember she wants you to be safe and run away from life.

Don’t listen.

With a thriving voice,

Christina

P.S. Just a few seats left for our online Life Reentry class that starts Tuesday. Join me and many others who are ready to rid of their survivor voice: https://lifereentry.com/life-reentry-class/


Loving Again After Loss

Someone asked me the other day on Facebook about my husband, the man I married after my loss.

She wasn’t the first one to ask.

Many people over the years have asked about him.

I mention him in the Second Firsts book a little bit.

But over the course of the 8 years I have been writing to you, I hardly ever talk about him.

I met him during my second year post loss at the local children’s support group I was taking my girls to.

I saw him walk in with his children and I immediately thought he was just dropping off, and not staying.

But he was.

He had lost his 35 year old wife a few months prior.

He sat next to me and I remember very vividly, how he said that it was really nice to meet me.

I mumbled something back and kind of turned the other way.

I didn’t like that I found him attractive.

It made me feel uncomfortable. Mad even.

I found myself thinking about him after I got home.

And the days that followed.

The group was running every two weeks.

For the next group meeting, I remember putting something on that was nicer than normal.

When I realized that I was actually dressing up for him. Shame and guilt came over me.

Over the course of the following weeks we kept meeting at the weekly group meetings.

And making small talk.

One night when I returned home something took over me and I wrote the whole group an email.

Asking if we should all go out for dinner.

To be honest with you, and it is something I didn’t admit to him for a while, my group email was mostly about meeting him and not the others.

But I didn’t dare let that thought enter my mind at the time.

I pressed send.

30 second later, I received an email responding just to me and not the whole group.

It was from him.

His name is Eric by the way.

He thought the group dinner was a great idea and that he was looking forward to it.

We emailed back and forth a few times that night.

That was Monday night. By mid-week we had decided to meet for dinner, just the two of us.

I remember thinking. Is that a date?

I didn’t know what to make of it.

We met at Chily’s. Yes nothing glamorous.

And there was a snow storm coming that evening.

I emailed him and said maybe we won’t be able to meet after all with the snowstorm coming. His response was the first time it felt like this could be something more.

He said “I will find a way to get to you, don’t you worry.”

It felt wrong. I felt married.

But that Saturday evening I got in my car and drove to Chily’s.

He smiled when he saw me and told me I look like Princess Leia.

How dare he be so forward.

I thought to myself.

Was he flirting with me?

The commentary that was taking place inside my mind was comical.

At the end of the evening, he gave me a kiss on the chick and said that he would love to see me again.

I walked to my car and drove straight home.

Something was happening. Butterflies arrived in my stomach.

I remember going to work the next day and thinking about him.

We went on many dates after that first one.

And as he likes to remind me often, our first dates were icy cold.

I would sit across the room from him and not move closer.

Even though the butterflies were fluttering inside my stomach, it felt quite abnormal to hold his hand or be with him in a physical sense.

Eric was the complete opposite to Bjarne (my hubby who died) he looked different, acted differently and he might as well have been his opposite in every way.

It took awhile for me to trust him. And let him in.

It took me at least a year before I let him even pay for dinner.

And it took a lot longer until I really allowed him to become important to me.

It is a scary thing to fall in love again after loss. (Click Here to Tweet!)

You may be wondering why don’t I talk about my relationship with Eric more.

I believe with all of my heart that I would not have the marriage that I have today if it wasn’t for my own personal life reentry.

Which had nothing to do with being in a new relationship.

It had to do with the woman that I became.

The finding of my own identity. My independence.

Who I became because of my relentless need to find myself again is my proudest accomplishment.

Eric and I have now been married for 8 years.

My advice to anyone who is out there considering a new love in their life, is to find the new you and let that new you fall in love.

Don’t fall in love with the old identity still here.

Loving after loss requires you to find your new self.

With butterflies.

Christina

P.S. 10 DAYS BEFORE NEXT CLASS BEGINS. Sign up here: https://lifereentry.com/life-reentry-class/


One Single Thought

I have so many things to tell you today.

I wish I could just drop in at your home.

Have coffee and chat.

Tell you that you will be ok.

Tell you that life is hard but it is also very good.

Tell you that we will lose so much but with every loss we will find our way again to a new beginning.

To a new understanding of what it means to be alive.

And what does it mean to be alive?

It means to have new experiences.

To say yes to what you used to say no to.

To dare to be someone different.

To want things for yourself that you never wanted before.

Then I would tell you that some days you will feel as if the whole world is on your shoulders and one thought brought it all there.

Yes just one thought.

Here is what happens with thoughts.

One thought walks inside your mind and tells you something that colors your whole day. It is almost as if that thought defines your existence.

Let’s say this thought tells you that you will always be alone in your life.

This one thought takes your present life and your future life and with just a few words it destroys them both.

This is a regular occurrence inside the mind of someone who is going through change and loss.

Now imagine this destructive thought being multiplied.

You see, this thought doesn’t just happen once, it happens every day.

And quite honestly, many times a day.

Now you are not just you, you are this thought.

Everything you do comes from this thought.

This is how we die without dying. This is how we get destroyed without seeing our destroyer. A single thought can derail our lives. (Click Here to Tweet!)

A single thought can take us from here and now and drive with us all the way to the end of our time.

I am not going to let this happen.

Not to me. Not to you.

There is really one reason why I still write this letter 8 years later.

To battle these destructive thoughts with you even for a few minutes once every Friday. So I am going to inject a new thought for us all today.

You are capable of living a really good life.

What is a good life?

For me a good life is that I honor myself by following my heart every day.

When I do that my life is good.

When I listen to my survivor self (destructive thoughts) I am miserable.

Now it’s your turn.

What makes a good life for you?

Let’s not allow something that is invisible take away everything that is.

With love and good thoughts,

Christina

P.S. Join my free Life Reentry webinar this Tuesday. Sign up here: https://lifereentry.com/life-reentry-class-webinar/


Who Am I Now?

When I dropped off my daughter to college last week, it was as if my whole world was demolishing.

All the buildings that made my life, were falling apart.

I could even hear the buildings falling.

The rubble.

When your life is changing there is an audio of the universe moving things around.

The maneuvering stops time.

Or it feels like it does because our lives are about to take a turn.

My two daughters and I just stood there hugging in the middle of the parking lot.

We knew everything was about to change, and it was hard to move outside of that moment.

You would think that having gone through big tragedies would make these moments easier.

I thought it would.

But it didn’t.

We stood there crying, not saying anything.

It was as if our souls were doing all the talking.

We became this unit when their dad died.

Inseparable. Until that moment.

One of the things I prayed for was to stay alive long enough for my kids to at least make it to 18 years of age.

When their dad died, they were only 4 and 6.

I used to worry, what if something happened to me too?

And I would say, let me get them to 18.

Just let me get them there.

I didn’t realize how much of my life after was about just getting to here.

Who am I now?

The words echo inside the universe.

Searching for their answers.

One thing I know for sure is that when one big thing in your life moves, many others follow.

Where the buildings have been, something else will be build.

And right now it looks like a desert.

I am not who I have been. And not who I will become. I am change itself. (Click Here to Tweet!)

With life lessons,

Christina

P.S. I am doing a free video intro class to what is Life Reentry. I hope I get to meet as many of you as possible: https://lifereentry.com/life-reentry-class-webinar/


The Room Walker

You are one tiny thought away from a completely different life. (Click Here to Tweet!)

But we live inside a room with no windows.

A room that keeps us thinking this is the only room.

There are Infinite rooms.

I didn’t really understand this fully until the last couple of years.

You see, all of us are capable of occupying many rooms.

Some of us can live in many different ones at the same time.

Others can move linearly from one room to the next.

And some stay in the same room forever.

These rooms are separate life paths.

Separate relationships.

Careers. Dreams.

When we go through a devastating loss we are told the room we occupied all this time is no longer available to us.

This is harsh, but true.

We are then told to pack our things and move into a different room.

Yes.

But.

A lot of us go back inside the room and try to stay.

We think that we can make it work.

Sure it is darker than before but it is better than a new room.

Or no room at all.  

Our mind lies to us.

It tells us this is the only room that exists.

Exploring is a waste of time.

And we stay.

Stay in the dark room.

The lonely room.

The room with no future.

The room of ghosts. Silence.

In there, the loneliness lady lives.

In there, the anniversary train visits.

In there, the room becomes the Waiting Room.

At this point, the lock turns.

The door closes more permanently.

We go to bed. And we die there.

Yes so many of us never find our way out.

I am going to now pull you out of this picture.

Give you a bird’s eye view.

Imagine I can take you up from your room, like a drone would.

See yourself inside that room, laying on the bed.

As we pull higher up, you start to see all the other rooms right next to yours.

Some of them are big.

With incredible views.

Others have many rooms in one space. Floors even.

And they connect to other rooms.

We keep going higher up.

And we see a whole city of beautiful rooms with many lives, and new dreams, breathtaking landscapes.

I am going to stop us for a second right here.

Take it all in, it is the truth.

The truth your mind has been trying to hide from you.

You have so many new possibilities.

There are so many choices.

Now we are going to go back, back to that room.

We descend slowly, with tears in our eyes, knowing how we nearly missed all these other rooms and lives we could have had.

You are now inside the old life, in your room.

You look around you and you now know this is no longer your life.

You grab your things. Not all of them, just enough.

And walk out.

Your next room won’t be visible at first as you come out of the old room.

But keep taking the steps.

All of a sudden you will see not just one new room but a few.

You will learn that in this next chapter after your loss, you have choices.

Options. You get to choose from a variety of rooms.

You get to be a room walker.

As you keep moving forward you find out what I found out.

That your life belongs to many rooms, and your keys in your pocket can open more doors than you ever thought were possible.

To thousands of rooms,

Christina

P.S. I heard your voices read your messages and I am bringing the Life Reentry class back. Live weekly with me teaching it alongside two incredible practitioners. We open registration here: https://lifereentry.com/life-reentry-class/We have 100 spots. I hope you grab yours. Class starts September 25th.


Do Whatever it Takes to Get Through This

“Do whatever you have to, to get through the pain after I am gone.” my husband said to me a few months before he died.

“Whatever it takes.” he said.

“It doesn’t matter what it is you have to do, if it makes you feel better then do it.”

I didn’t always follow his advice but it did help me feel less guilt when my choices after loss were not perfect.

When we lose someone we love, it hurts like hell.

And I don’t know how he knew to tell me this then.

But the pain is so unbearable that we have to do whatever it takes to get through it.

You will make decisions you will regret.

And you will say and do things that you wish you hadn’t.

So what?

When your person vanishes from your existence and your heart is crushed, you have to do whatever you need, to keep on standing. (Click Here to Tweet!)

Don’t be ashamed.

You are still good.

You are just hurting badly.

So I am going to give you a few examples of my “whatever it took.”

And then I want to hear yours.

We will use WIT for short.

Ok here we go.

Some of my WITs:

-I went out on a few dates with someone I didn’t see a future with after he died, but he kept me company on the phone and asked me how my day was.

-I had a few too many glasses of wine the year following his loss.

-I spent more money that I should have on things I didn’t need.

-I didn’t eat for a year or two. Then I ate everything.

The list is long. But you get the picture.

Now it’s your turn.

What are yours?

Write them down, release them from shame and know that you had to do what you had to do to get through.

I will be doing a big post on this on our Facebook page here so everyone can share their WITs. You are not alone in this.

No shame in doing what you have to, to get through your loss.

With life and so many WITs,

Christina

P.S. Do you have a copy of Second Firsts? If not here is where you can grab yours: https://www.amazon.com/Second-Firsts-Live-Laugh-Again/dp/1401940838/