I’ve always dreamed about someone coming to rescue me.
Last night in my dream, I saw myself on the ground trying to stand up and a stranger came over to help me.
It felt so good to have this stranger grab my hand and guide me to another path one that I could not find on my own.
The feeling of being rescued was magnificent.
I still feel it as I am writing to you.
But unfortunately, there is nobody here to rescue me.
I have had to be brave on my own a lot lately.
And because of that, I have felt a lot of fear.
I have been scared.
I even joked with myself last night.
Would it be less scary if I close my eyes before the jumps I am making?
Maybe it would for just a second, but it doesn’t last.
There are people who are there helping us up, yes sure they are.
But very few ever rescued me, like carried me across a river per say, just kidding.
No need to cross rivers.
But you know a tough year.
And even though I know these rescues are rare.
I still look for rescuers.
My rescue fantasies now are different from the ones I had after my husband died.
After he died I used to fantasize how it would be if he didn’t really die.
And he walked through the door to rescue me from this pain.
Or how someone who heard my story deposited money into my account maybe even a couple of million. Haha. Yes, I did fantasize about that.
Now my fantasies circle around my work.
I met someone a few months ago, smart and experienced in the medical field.
He noticed my Life Reentry work.
He wanted to help me. He wrote me emails. Met with me.
Shared his advice.
And I thought to myself, there may be someone coming to rescue you from doing this all alone.
And for about a month I was so happy about this rescuer.
And then just like that this person kind of disappeared.
I sent emails. I waited. Nothing.
He went away.
No more help, saving or rescuing.
Months later he wrote me an email saying he was so embarrassed that he abandoned ship like this. I told him it was ok and not to worry, I understood.
But I was lying.
I didn’t understand.
You see, a really long time ago someone did rescue me.
His name was Bob and he owned a big HR recruiting firm.
He heard about my story, met with me and then proceeded to tell his team to send out 200 letters by mail to every VP of HR in every big company they had relationships with.
Three days later I had so many voicemails.
Even the Dean of Harvard’s School of Medicine.
They wanted to interview me.
Bob never asked for anything in return.
He never got paid for this.
And he told everyone in the letters, this was outside of his services.
He said he just wanted to help me.
I got many job offers through his letters.
And that is how I got my first job after my hubby died.
It took about 7 years until someone else who resembled Bob’s nature came along.
So yes this is a rare occasion.
His name was Michael and he opened the doors to so many closed rooms for me when my first book came out.
For no reason.
For wanting nothing in return.
Michael and Bob have been my two rescuers.
And maybe that is why I believed that this new rescuer was for real.
Because I was lucky enough to experience at least two rescuers.
But we are the ones meant to find our way to being brave. We are the ones swimming across a big scary ocean. (Click to Tweet!)
Now and again there will be boats, cruisers, and big ships coming along the way and that will be great to have, to rest, to be loved, to be rescued for a while.
And to the wannabe rescuer...I think I may just have what it takes to be brave in the darkness without anyone rescuing me.
Here’s to the brave ones on a float swimming towards the shore they can’t see.
With many big floats,
PS. There is a book about being Brave that I have not yet read from Brene Brown, but I hear it is incredible. You should grab it. I am about to this weekend. It will help us all with our floats. 🙂