In a few days Second Firsts will be 5 years old.
I vividly remember the night I came up with the name.
It was 2:00am.
I was crying.
I was defeated.
It had been 18 months after my husband died with two babies sleeping in the next room and the words just landed on me.
In that moment there was an interruption of grief and a glimmer of hope for something greater.
I had to come up with something.
I had to find a way out of the job I had and the life I was in.
I didn’t think it was anything significant.
Until much later.
I actually didn’t believe I had anything of value to offer.
I had absolutely no clue that in the next few years I would get to be a part of so many people’s lives.
I also had no idea how incredibly hard it would be to have a voice and create something from nothing.
But most of all that I would get to find out that loving what you do is much more important than knowing what you are doing.
I did not know what I was doing.
Most days I did not know the next step until I was stepping right on it.
So If I could go back in time to speak to the younger heart broken Christina I wouldn’t even tell her to believe in herself.
I wouldn’t show her the way.
I would just tell her to continue loving the work.
You are having too much fun to even care.
And to the Christina sitting alone at 2:00 am all those years ago crying not knowing which way to go I would say…this is your rock bottom and without you being here none of all the miracles that are about to happen can happen.
This is the place to be.
And because you are here, you have what it takes to get on this journey to create something from nothing.
Now all these years later I get to tell you what nobody was able to tell me when I was sitting all alone that night.
You don’t need to see the next step, you don’t even need to know what you are doing, you just need to attempt the first small step.
And if there is one thing you need to remember from this letter, it is that your rock bottom is the only place that miracles are born.
If I hadn’t reached the end of my rope I would not be here talking with you every day.
Please know that being blind, uncertain and completely lost is normal and necessary for your miracle to take place.
Go towards what makes you come alive.
And trust the process of your Re-entry.
P.S. And we have finally opened registrations for Coffee with Christina. Thank you to those who have waited with patience for this day. Class begins Sept 15th.