Why is it so hard to build them.

Birth them. Live by them. Tell people about them.

Respect them.

I am talking about our own boundaries.

Especially emotional ones.

Why is this so hard?

For so many of us.

I don’t know what has taken me so long but I have finally got it together. I built strong boundaries. I call them self love walls.


I say NO.

A lot.

I used to be such a people pleaser.

I thought that made me a good person.

And I am ashamed to admit it that even after my losses and tragedies I was still too nice.

Well my dear friend, something shifted for me this year.

BOOM. Boundaries went up.

BOOM. No’s were told.

BOOM. Friendships were broken.

And I didn’t care if I was not liked anymore.

I think I finally knew who I was.

And I was certain about it.

I was no longer seeking other people’s confirmations.

I was no longer putting myself second.

If this sounds like you then I am going to ask you to start building your boundaries or your self love walls right about now.

Remember that pleasing other people when you don’t want to, is disrespectful towards your life.


I challenge you to say NO at least 2 times a day if not more.

If life is not lived through your DNA it is not your life. (Click to Tweet!)

Your life and your choices should not concern anyone else.

Now the boundaries that I have… do the job, but I have to be honest, it is not easy to respect those boundaries every day. I still wonder what would people think.

But the difference is, I go ahead and put them up and keep to my rules about a life lived by me and not by everyone else.

To get here, it took a lot of grief, a lot of pain and a lot of sorrow.

Oh and one more thing a lot of disappointment by the people I pleased.

Let’s just say I learned many lessons.

This Message in a Bottle is about the RIGHT walls you must build around you.

The walls that will keep you living for yourself and not for the people around you. And remember because of all the losses we have experienced we have a duty to ourselves to create the best life possible going forward.

With… oh so many boundaries,


PS. And if you don’t have the book yet please go get it…it will help with those boundaries too.

Image courtesy of Sippanont Samchai.