Speak when you are angry.

Go workout when you are furious.

Write when you feel anger’s breath on your face.

Live fully when you feel intolerance for something someone has done to you.

Grieve with passion when anger is hammering down your front door.

Certainly, do not count to 10 before you speak.

You have been told thousands of times. Keep it in. Wait. Let it pass.
Well my dear…anger is not gas.

Pardon my French today, but anger does not get disposed on its own.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” Budha says.

So imagine that hot coal in the palm of your hand.

Just holding on to it.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten

Ouch.

Are you feeling the burn?

Now that you counted to ten and you are in pain how are you going to share your feelings?

How are you going to ask for what you deserve?

You are in pain and in tears.

All you will feel is abandonment, loss, grief, and pain for what has been done to you.

So if you don’t mind let’s do this a little differently.

According to the Dictionary…Anger is a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong; wrath

Does anger makes us bad people. NO. It just makes us human. And humans experience anger.

I never met a successful visionary without an angry memory of a loss.

I never run into a happy person without a story to tell about revenge. I never read a come back story without any sarcasm.

Anger is part of happiness and success.

And here is why anger however catastrophic… it can actually help us to take steps that our rational mind would never take.

When an emotional event takes place our brain can override its logical thinking part and a surge of energy follows preparing us for the fight of flight response.

This takes place for several minutes.

During that time we have no access to our normal thinking process. And we might feel that we are “losing it.”

Just to be clear I am not asking you to do anything crazy all I am saying is that sometimes letting lose, telling it like it is and stepping into the big world is easier when we are not thinking clearly.

I have taken my biggest leaps when I wanted to prove myself.

I went out on my first date when I was furious with my grief.

I committed to actions when I felt intense anger for how my life was. Without those moments we would not be here today. Because my rational self would have stopped me from ever daring!

Just for today, act when you feel your angry feelings are trying to come out. Commit to actions that your normal rational brain would never commit to. And use what’s inside of you to get you what you so deserve.

Yes?

With constructive anger,

Christina

PS. Share your angry moments that led to leaps of faith here

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Christina

Christina

Christina Rasmussen is an author, speaker and social entrepreneur who believes that grief is an evolutionary experience required for launching a life of adventure and creative accomplishment.

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3 Comments

  • Ken Clench says:

    My fiancĂ© always said: “When you get mad, things get done.” And she was right. I’ve often used anger as a catalyst to making a major leap, often through barriers of fear.

    When she was killed by a drunk driver, I was angry, I still am. Not the bright flame of hatred or wanting to hurt another (that burned out quickly), but the slow burn of anger at the fact that someone stole this beautiful woman from the world. Since then, I’ve used that anger as fuel to keep going and it has been essential to getting me through the darkest moments.

    I honestly would not be here without anger.

    Thank you so much for this. Amazing and thoughtful as always.

    Ken

  • Lazarus says:

    Thank you so much for saying this, Christina. It really struck a chord for me. Such wisdom, I truly appreciate you.
    xo
    Lazarus

  • I left nursing and studied to be teacher when I was angry. I gave up teaching for a better paid job when I got angry. When men try to push me down I speak clearly about what I think about it and demand them to improve. This has also happened to my husband and our relation has improved over time. I’ve often been told that I am an argumentative bitch behind my back and that only makes me proud.

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