In my quest to free people from the eternity of grief,
I stumbled upon an unexpected ghost.
At first this ghost looked smaller than grief.
It looked insignificant in front of the terror that grief presented.
I wasn’t concerned.
Until… it persevered after grief’s last scenes.
This ghost stayed on stage.
The stage of our life,
and it messed up with our future.
It locked us up with invisible chains.
It spoke to us in whispers that no one else could hear.
You see, we were used to the grand presence of a broken heart, but now this was manifesting in a new way.
Invisible, silent and without any warning.
What stays after grief ends?
The most surprising symptom of grief.
This is the killer.
We can’t make it go away.
We can’t see it.
We can’t hear it.
And we may never even know that it was there sleeping in our bed every night.
Sneaking inside our fridge.
Dressing up in our closet.
Showing up in our bathroom mirror.
Ingrained in our shadow.
Inside our words.
I have seen thousands of people being able to work with their grief, mend their broken heart and re-enter life.
And yes that is important.
But only until Unworthiness catches up with them.
However, I know one thing for sure.
Unworthiness is not immortal.
Certainly not self-sustained.
Unworthiness needs to be fed.
Needs to be nurtured to grow.
It needs to stop receiving love to survive.
I might not have eradicated unworthiness but I have learned to put it to sleep.
With one small action.
Finding the proof of our own value.
I don’t care how much and how far you have to look to find your proof that you are worthy.
Search your memory.
Look for your worthiness in your past.
Inside your house.
Call your friends and ask them why they love you.
Look for your old teachers.
And if you are lucky enough to have loving parents,
go pay them a visit.
Whatever you do, do not stop searching until you find your value.
Trust me it is there.
When you find your first proof,
hold on to it.
Until your next adventure in the wild jungle of unworthiness.
With tremendous value,