I have learned one thing during my journey through grief, things are not as they appear to be.
The End is the beginning.
Suffering is change knocking.
Loss is long term love in disguise.
Grief is good at playing hide and seek.
I have learned that most of our behavior, good or bad stems from the loss we have endured.
Whether it is small losses, or big tragedies.
Especially if it is the invisible type of grief, the loneliness, the sorrow of never having the dream, or never loving. Never being loved.
That is loss too.
Grief knows how to hide behind routine, behind noise and every day living.
Even if you have never been through a divorce, a death, or a job loss know that you have experienced loss.
If you think that you haven’t then your grief is really the expert here.
Your grief is the expert of peek-a-boo.
The expert of showing up as something else, something that could come across as a simple frustration, boredom or even dissatisfaction.
Ask yourself could these feelings come from something you never received?
Something you have been waiting for all of your life to have, and never got?
I call that the invisible loss.
This is one of the most difficult losses to heal from.
You have not been able to name it, a divorce, or a death or a break up, or a typical loss.
You can’t be acknowledged for it.
You get no sympathy.
You receive no kindness from the world.
You might even come across as bitter, angry and difficult to deal with.
It is not because you are any of the above, it is because deep deep down you are grieving.
Deep, deep down you are in pain.
It is ok, bare your head low.
Let your shoulders drop.
Tuck your feet in.
And feel it, cry it.
Let the river run through you.
No more stopping it.
No more pretending it is not there.
No more hiding.
You can’t move on and live the life that is waiting for you if you keep denying the losses you have experienced.
Will you tell the truth to yourself, and let grief reveal itself?
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