Ever feel like you are at a loss trying to figure out what you need to heal from your loss or trauma?
I have been on a 20+ year journey and found some useful steps to help you find some peace on your journey.
Loving warning: This post may not agree with your current beliefs, but I ask you to put aside
what you currently think about loss and trauma and allow yourself to view it through a new lens.
I know this isn’t going to gel with your ego. Your pain is yours to keep, and your ego isn’t so hot on letting go. I know that place oh so well, and now I can see it from a whole new perspective and feel less anxious about it. I’ve been where you are, one way or the other, and had to pull myself out of some really hard places.
[This is a step-by-step system to help you get better results with your healing process.]
Just like you, I’ve had to walk through the fire and earn my scars. Each one of those scars has become a great teacher, blessing or lesson. Before I get to the suggested road map that will guide you into a new reality, I want to share a bit of my story. (Just a small portion – you can read my entire bio here.)
I was adopted at birth. Despite my folk’s best intentions, abandonment imprinted itself within me on a cellular level. My adopted parents were divorced by the time I was 5, and regular beatings from my brother and adults abusing drugs all around me became the norm. There was little place for love and kindness. I found my salvation in my creativity… coupled with trying to survive and beating kids up at school.
Trauma was the entree for many years, until I left Philly for New York City for college… only to come home to my mother dying of cancer. It was then that I had my first spiritual experience. The night before she passed, I knew I would never see her again.
That night I made a pact that I would never, ever let anything stop me from going for my dreams. I watched a women who loved others and hated herself live a life she never wanted, only to die before she could make it right.
Fast forward to my second big course-changer. I was working at Prada in NYC, when I noticed a tingling in my body. A diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis was delivered. Bam. Second moment of awareness: I had built a mansion on a swamp and it was starting to sink.
After a lot of time, pain, frustration and medication, I finally realized that I didn’t have to agree or take what others prescribed for my life. I realized that choice is my super power [it’s yours too if you want it]- I made that pact and it was a soul promise. I had to let go of the fast-paced fashion life I was living and the relationship I was in. Tearing myself from the life I’d built was painful yet necessary to grow spiritually and be happy. I have no regrets.
I went for it and followed my soul’s map to live my life. Now that I’m exactly where I need to be, I can see that I had to go through all of this in order to be who I am today.
I want the same for you. Let’s get to it and release what’s no longer serving you so you can be the woman/man you know you can be. It’s not your job to take what happens to you personally. Your soul is here to have its life. You have an identity that you created to cope, find love and feel appreciated… but that identity is a cage. You need to break free.
Let’s get real, radical and raw.
All I ask is that you give yourself the permission to go into new territory.
Be willing and open to new ideas. Better ideas, perhaps. Life is good.
Your road map to transformation
1. Stop taking what happens to you personally. Start seeing it as a gift. Your soul needs to undergo certain experiences in order to support you to be more of who you are.
2. Start living with the understanding that your ego is here to serve your soul. Yes, it will try to keep you safe in a small space, but as the saying goes: a bad day for your ego know it’s a great day for your soul.
(This is where you’re going to get a bit more noisy in your head, and start not liking what I say. Perfect, that’s progress.)
3. Identify at what point in your life you decided the world wasn’t fair. When you didn’t get the love or attention you needed from those around you, you changed how you got love. It may have looked like sickness, getting into trouble, or any other coping mechanism a child explores. This part of you is your ego, she/he is most likely a hurt little girl trying to protect you. A persona trying to fit into the world.
4. Now you’ve identified this teenager telling you to hide, play it safe and not be seen and heard… embrace her. When she/he gets loud you don’t have to listen. Do something new and ask for a new idea to arise. Pay attention and then take action on that insight.
5. Take time to appreciate, love and be grateful for the woman/man you are. Make a deliberate choice to look through the lens of what’s working and watch a new world appear. Even if you can’t see it right now, know you are taken care of. There are blessings that are happening for your right now. Live in this new frequency. You have been programed to look at lack, limitation, fear, doubt and worry. It’s time to stop that and look on the other side.
Never forget that you are an example for someone. Your courage is food for someone who is starving for inspiration. Now it’s your turn to decide how you want to move through the world. Everything is for you, nothing is against you.
Want more inspiration and motivation? Ready to release the need to hold back and go after your dreams? Are you ready to live an undeniable life? Then get your cute self over to watch this video I created just for you.
I want to hear from you — even if you don’t agree. Speak up! I can’t wait to connect with you and share in this dynamic dialogue, because this is what we all need to transform the world. I’m honored to breath the same air as you.
Learn about her newest program, Your Soul’s University, a year-long, intimate coaching experience for women looking to shed their fear to become undeniable in life and business here. Hillary has been featured on Fit TV, in The Los Angeles Times, The Independent, Yoga Journal and contributes to the Huffington Post and Origin magazine. Hillary is also writing her first book with the forward by Agape Founder Michael Bernard Beckwith.