Some tough love…

The more you talk about your lost life, the more lost you will feel.

I know this sounds harsh, but it is the truth.

And I will not take the easy way out, by telling you that you need to talk about your feelings, and get it all out.

Crucify me if you want to, unsubscribe if you need to, it doesn’t matter what you do with anger… what matters is what you do when you feel at peace, in love and compassionate.

That is when the Universe responds to your dreams.

That is when your brain can escape the negative loop of thoughts.

That is when you get in touch with your core self.

The self that knows the truth of who you are when you are not grieving, and when you are not bitter.

That is the person I want to talk to.

Not because I don’t want to cry with you, but because I want to laugh with you more.

And above all I want to ignite the second life that is basically begging you to start over again.

Now, my dear friend if you are crying because the hidden dreamer inside of you is listening, then yes cry these tears.

These tears come from the fountain of your soul.

These tears are here to awaken the part of you that can find the strength to re-ignite the human fire that is dormant within.

And let me tell you this.

We have been told over and over again not to bottle things up, but what does that really mean?

Is it ok to bottle up your dreams and your desires?

Is it ok to suppress life, and awaken grief?

No it isn’t.

So this is what I am here to tell you.

Don’t bury your dreams, and raise your grief.

Don’t be fooled by the power of talking about your loss, it will color every future relationship, event and experience.

Talk about finding love again.

Talk about living again.

Talk about what your dreams are.


I know that some people will not like what I have to say.

But I also know that some people’s lives will change because I freed them from having to live their future through the filter and guilt of their loss.

Remember your past, but don’t live in it.

With some tough love,

For More Information from Christina Sign Up Here!


  1. I had just sent a message to my dearest friend that I felt like I was stuck in some kind of horrible loop I can not escape from. Then I got your email with this post. It is true, when you needs something it often appears.

  2. This is timely and perfect! Put away the kleenex, the sob stories, the defense mechanisms, the crap, unless you like walking around in that and have people feel sorry for you… There is life outside the cat box.

  3. Christina –
    Thank you for this message. Difficult as it may be for some people to hear, I think it’s the truth. I lost my husband 18 months ago. I have talked about him a lot. But just in the past few weeks, I realized that I no longer wanted people to look at me as Gail, the (poor, sad) widow. I just want to be Gail.

    This is not always easy to do. I have to fight against feeling guilty, but fighting I am. I loved my husband dearly. The reality is that I am still here – and I want to enjoy my life to the fullest.

    Thank you for your website and your emails. You so often say exactly what I am thinking or what I most need to hear.
    With gratitude,
    Gail Murphy

  4. Thank you. I needed to hear that. It reassures me that it is okay to pick up and move on with my life instead of staying stuck in the past. It’s also reassuring to know that it’s still okay to pursue my hopes and dreams. Thanks again.

  5. True, not to live in your past. But, as the saying goes, remember it so as not to repeat it. That is where I was. So fearful of repeating that I didn’t allow myself to live in the NOW. Trying daily to change that…

  6. This is perfect for me as I am going through some tough times in a divorce and seem to self reflect more these days. Your words are just what I love to read. As I tell my Yoga students, ‘pick yourself up, dust yourself off and begin again’. I have to apply this daily. Thank you~ Lisa

  7. Cristina,

    I absolutely love this. This is so true & you hit the nail on the head so to speak. I appreciate this so much and am going to print it out. Thanks so much.



  8. I sometimes feeling like “checking out”. Being called ‘Crazy’ at a young age. Accept me for who I am, not what you want me to be! I am me, You are you and I am okay. I love you mom and dad and miss you more each day! My children will understand and realize I tried my hardest. Probably when they have children of their own. I love you all.

Share your Thoughts

Time limit is exhausted. Please reload CAPTCHA.

Christina Rasmussen

Welcome to the Message in a Bottle page, here you will find wisdom, truth and tools for you to start over. Make sure you sign up at the top to be sure to receive it in your inbox every Friday.