I read Lou Holtz’s words the other day.
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I understood he knew a truth that so many of us don’t.
The load is not what hurts but how we carry it over the years.
What we do with the load.
How we move the load. How we heal the load.
At first we have to carry it whichever way we can.
We drag it along the road, up the hill and round the bend.
We do this because the load is new. We don’t know how to hold it or where to place it at night when we go to bed.
So, we take it with us in our sleep. In our dreams.
We wake up with it and think we can never ever leave it at home, or somewhere else away from us. When the load starts to break us as we drag it along we decide to put it on our backs.
Maybe there, it will be easier to carry.
And off we go, out the house and to work.
With the load on our back.
At first we think it’s easier, we don’t have to drag it along with us anymore.
We can carry it on our backs now. We think we are doing better now.
We think we have achieved something great.
We get so good at carrying it on our backs and it becomes invisible to everyone else.
They don’t ask to help us carry it.
The load is packed in so well, it looks like it is one with us.
The way we now carry it is pretty practical.
We can go to work and nobody knows about the load.
We can go out to the grocery store and carry more items on our way out.
We can take it with us when we drive the kids to school and not even the kids can tell it’s there.
I mean, that’s good news right? Life is moving along. Or is it?
The load now is part of us, our backs are never straight up.
Everything we do is harder. Everything we do, we do alone.
We are part load, part self. But never a whole. Always a part.
Now imagine this possibility.
If when we dragged the load we let others help us lift it off the ground.
We let them walk with us while lifting it.
We learned other ways to carry it.
We slowly learned to set it aside when we got out and about visiting with life.
We never made it a part of us.
Now the load is parked close by. We spend time with it.
We visit when it feels like it hurts too much.
And we leave it behind when we life is calling our name.
With life and some heavy loads,