I don’t think people like to hang out with people who are sad.
Who have failed.
Who have a bad week. Month. Year.
Now imagine how many people want to hang out with you, if your husband left you.
Your child passed.
Your spouse has cancer.
You lost your job.
You suffer from anxiety.
I am going to add another layer.
You don’t have money.
The chances are if you are down,
poor, you lost a family member or two,
most people don’t stick around after a while.
Grief makes us more isolated.
Grief drives people away.
And then you wonder why we put up a strong front.
Why we choose a new mask to wear each morning on our way to work.
Why we lose trust.
Why we stop sharing our pain.
We live in a world that doesn’t respond well to weakness of any kind.
One of the reasons I went in the Waiting Room after loss was because I was hiding my weaknesses there. I believed that I could not stay weak and sad for too long.
So I hid.
I know that if you are reading this letter you are probably hiding your loss the best you can.
I know this is not easy to do.
But we have to start from ourselves.
The more we hide from our own truth the further away we are from any kind of happiness.
Yes, we will lose some people when we start to share.
Yes we will appear weak. Lost.
It is ok. Remember sharing our vulnerabilities is a sign of strength.
That’s all I am asking from you this week.
Can we try?
PS. The very first thing we do at The Life Starters we help people share their struggles. If only everyone did the same.