Look for Someone Like You


And so it begins.

Life after loss.

It just starts.

You wake up the next day and you have to get out of bed.

Make dinner for your kids.

Brush your teeth.

Shower. Take the dog out.

Pay the bills. Go to work.

Breathe.

No wonder some people don’t make it.

It is like the ship sails away from the dock and you just have to jump on.

There is no bridge to it.

Nobody holds your hand.

Nobody carries your broken heart on board.

You have to come as you are.

Blood. Pain. Tears. Screams. You jump.

And when you make the jump to this life after loss the ship does not have a seat for you.

Or a cabin. A bed. Nothing.

You have to find a corner to rest your body in the dirt and filth of the wet floor.

Until you can find the courage to do better.

I don’t know about you, but I felt like a refugee in the beginning. I think grief may be worse than racism, discrimination or poverty.

It makes you unlikeable, invisible. Alien. Confusing. Forgotten.

But what if…we all stuck together?

What if we had our own ship to jump to?

With our people on board.

What if we could find a way to make this beginning a little easier until we get our strength back?

I believe that even this letter right here, right now, builds a bridge to a better start of life after loss. A more humane start.

Broken hearts are welcome here. Dirty hair is fashionable. Pjs in the middle of the day is in. (Click to Tweet!)

Silence is not rude. Tears unlimited. Love is a resident.

Today, I am going to ask you to find a soul on the ship that looks like you. Talks like you.

And is also on the wet floor and has just made the jump over to this life after loss. Find her or him. Sit together.

And if you wonder where to find this person, you don’t have to look far.

If you are at work, start walking around the building and look inside the cubicles.

If you are at a coffee shop just look up, you will see them.

If you are at home, go online and on our FaceBook page. We have many people like you and me.

Just whatever you do… look up and look for us.

We might not look ready to meet you or make eye contact, but don’t let that fool you.

Just come on over and say hi.

And let’s do this new life together.

With onboarding love,

Christina

P.S.  And I meant it when I said there is going to be a ship for us all: www.thelifestarters.com

Comments

  1. This is so true, that it’s not hard to find someone who is grieving. Today I was telling someone about a happy event (my husband’s grandmother recently had her 100th birthday and she is doing very well). I don’t know how the conversation changed, but it did within seconds to this person’s grief over the 5 years of care she gave her mother while her mother had dementia with no short-term memory. It just came pouring out. There are grievers everywhere. Thanks to Christina, I knew what to do — listen and validate and witness her loss.

  2. A big deal has been made of rules but the makers aren’t following any therefore, there are none. A return to planned activities (Lieve) and recent determinations (hat=love) seems the best resolution. We’ve all grieved. We know it ends eventually & life goes on in a different direction. Doing what is right always- procedurally, lawfully & acording to plan. The system that should have been followed included only 1 hat and 1 love.

  3. “Someone Like You” samplings:

    Someone like you makes it hard to live without
    Somebody else
    Someone like you makes it easy to give
    Never think about myself
    -Rod Stewart

    Never mind, I’ll find someone like you
    I wish nothing but the best for you too
    Don’t forget me, I beg
    I’ll remember you said,
    “Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead”.
    -Adele

    Never thought I’d have someone like you
    Never thought you’d be the one to save me
    Now I’m ready to believe
    You always say I’m worthy
    And finally I can say I agree
    – Ram & Susana

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Christina Rasmussen

Welcome to the Message in a Bottle page, here you will find wisdom, truth and tools for you to start over. Make sure you sign up at the top to be sure to receive it in your inbox every Friday.