I don’t know when it stopped.
But it finally did.
The race. The climbing. The maze.
The thousands of thoughts speaking all at once.
The impossible obstacles.
Sending the arrow out as if the target was the toughest target to hit.
Living in hardship ended for me.
I was no longer chasing the impossible dreams, so I could get further away from grief.
I was no longer striving to change the world, so my world could be better.
It all stopped.
I think it was exactly 8 months ago when the race ended.
I let go of something that kept me in the maze and in the race.
I just dropped it and never picked it up again.
I had been racing for 10 years.
When I dropped the thing that kept me in the maze, I was left with my own dreams instead of saving the whole world. I was left with a beautiful village.
I was left with the sunrise.
I was left with life. My life. And a few others.
And it was enough.
I was enough.
I had all that I ever needed.
Air in my lungs. Words to create. Smiles to smile. Love to give.
And a different journey started.
This one was on a flat surface, no hills.
No maze to figure out.
I started to breathe again.
I asked myself for the first time in 10 years what was it that I wanted.
Maybe I wasn’t here to leave some kind of legacy, but to find the courage to live my life on my own terms.
So I started walking on this flat surface, and I loved it.
It is not as flat as it could be yet, but I am getting better and better at not throwing myself to the mountains or looking for a new maze to master.
If you are reading this and you are holding on to something, a job, a relationship, a dream that is keeping you inside this crazy maze, stop.
Drop the thing that’s keeping you running.
You have already done enough.
Don’t torture yourself anymore.
Leave the maze behind you.
Take a very long break from the hills.
Life can be easy if you let it.
And don’t believe it when people tell you to face your fears.
Instead find a flat surface to stand on, and start going slowly and surely wherever you think looks good to you. And look for comfort, easiness and space. Space for your heart to beat its own beat. No need for a racing heart to find your oasis.
With a flat surface and so much love for you and for me,