The Rewrite


This year I am about to do the biggest rewrite of my life.

And no, it is not because of a loss I experienced or a tragedy I witnessed.

The rewrite is not because I don’t like my life. It is because I simply changed. (Click to Tweet!)

I changed while I was making my dreams come true.

My wishes are no longer what they used to be.

And that is when the rewrite must begin again.

You must respect your needs.

You must respect the changes that are taking place within you.

However crazy and unexpected they must seem to you.

Don’t judge yourself for changing.

Just start rewriting your story immediately.

There is a big difference in the Life Reentry Process, when we Reenter out of happiness and fulfillment, instead of out of pain and stuckness.

Life is made of many Reentry points.

Reentry points that are created out of loss and Reentry points that are created out of joy and happiness.

I know that you might be someone who has just experienced a lot of pain and is looking to change your life, so you can just breathe.

You might be thinking that getting to a life you love is a long way away for you.

All I want you to remember from this letter is that one day when life is good again to seek something new, something even better.

To seek to fly.

To seek to reach even higher.

Even closer to who you are when you are laughing.

When you are dancing.

When you are joyful.

To seek Reentry then.

The Rewrite then is divine and unexpected in ways you can ever imagine.

Your homework for today is: Which part of your life needs a rewrite even though it looks great from the outside? Share with us below.

With rewriting,

Christina

Comments

  1. Family; my relationship with my family needs a rewrite. I’ve accepted whatever I can get. That’s not good enough. That has been filled with disrespect, meanness and cruelty. I no longer will accept that just to have a family. From now on, they have to treat me right, or no go.

  2. Is it only one portion that needs rewritten? No, there are several. Problems at work is creating stress and financial woes. Things I would have been able to discuss with Terry. I also have a strong yearning to move from the cold Midwest to sunny Florida as I feel peace, calm and strength from being on the water. But until the first rewrite of work is taken care of, the second cannot begin. I feel like I’m stuck in the mud with no one to help pull me out.

  3. My whole life is in need of a Rewrite! Due to my wife of over 46 years having an extended struggle with Dementia, finally leading to her death, I went from full-time work and active church ministry, to caring for her every need, for as long as I was able, to sitting at the nursing home To be sure that every day she knew that she was not and would never be alone. I went from sharing a room with my brother for 17 of the first 19 years of my life, to sharing my everything with my wife, to a sense of loneliness that has been, at times, crippling. In addition, I just finished 7 weeks of Radiation Treatments for a recurrence of cancer, and have been too physically depleted from Radiation Poisoning to even get out of my Cave of Solitude. As I shared with a friend, I have spent so much time floudering, I forgot how to do anything besides treading water. I am in desparate need to get back into the Game of Life. We all need to be involved to feel alive. I need to regain a sense of Focus and a sense of Purpose.

    • Kenny, I don’t have any words of advice but I wanted to tell you we are caring for our mother who has end stage alzheimers after my dad passed away recently and it is so hard. I give you a lot of credit for the way you were there for your wife, it isn’t easy. I hope you are able to get back in the game of life and enjoy it again.

      • Rebecca, I appreciate your kind words of encouragement, and I assure you of my prayers for you, and for everyone who has lost, and continues to lose, your Mom. In my journey, especially in the last 5 years, since my wife’s official diagnosis, I have learned that there have been very few people I know who have not been directly effected by one form or another of dementia. This disease affects the lives of everyone who cares. It isn’t just the person with dementia. And, while I am not downplaying the sense of loss of anyone who loses a person dear to them from a sudden death, having lived that kind of loss many times through the years, including the loss of one of our children to suicide, my personal experience has made me believe that dementia is one of the most horrid experiences of death for everyone involved. Having almost lived at the nursing home for over 2 years, I was exposed to the only form of death that I found more tragic, and that is neuro-muscular diseases, like MS, MD, CP & ALS. With dementia, as the mind and the sense of the person we once knew disappears, the body follows, and, eventually just forgets how to eat and how to breathe. With neuro-muscular diseases, the body, similar to dementia, gradually, and eventually, ceases to function; however, the mind and the sense of the person doesn’t disappear, and remains awake, alert, aware and intellectually sound inside of a body that can’t respond, even to lifting a hand to scratch an itch. I am sad for losing my best friend, and more sad for the way I lost her, but I know that I am not alone. Know that you are not alone either. Caring for someone with dementia can consume you. Don’t let that happen to you. Love your Mom, care for her the best you can, but, like she would tell you, take care of you. Her life is ending. Yours isn’t! Take time away, when you can, if only to leave the room while she sleeps and do something you enjoy. And, make plans for “After.” Start Rewriting for “After.” “After” is inevitable. Be ready for it by mking plans. Be blessed, Rebecca! You will be in my prayers.

    • Marianne.. that’s exactly how I would answer, too!! I don’t think there’s any aspect of life that’s so fulfilling that I wouldn’t want to change it. I was supposed to use the “snow day” yesterday to be introspective… to think about life and identify what I need to change and how. Needless to say, that didn’t happen. But, I need to get this done. I’m not living my best life!

  4. I’m still in my comfy waiting room. I feel little guilty after reading some of the comments here for not being out of this waiting room and living life to the fullest. I have not experienced death of a person that I love. Death of the marriage. My husband got a girlfriend where he works about eight months ago. He refuses to speak to me so I have no closure. I still send a text occasionally and I am still keeping my marriage vows. My husband’s girlfriend posts pictures of the two of them publicly. I want to hate him and MoveOn but I don’t hate him. My hope is we all get out of our waiting room. God bless you Kenny.

    • Thanks, Judi! I am no saint, and, after being forced to put my wife into a nursing home, I met a lady, with every intention of our remainig “Just Friends”, only to have our relationship become very intense. Since the weight of the wrongness of our relationship became too intense for either of us, she moved on and has since married. I can’t hate her, and I struggle with being able to move on, since, in case you couldn’t tell, I only know one way to give my heart. I understand your struggle with your husband, and this lady and I still communicate by email, sporadically. That’s one of those “Rewrite” areas I need to work on too. You will remain in my prayers.

  5. My relationships need a rewrite. What I am willing to do and what is expected of me are two totally different things and I need to draw the line. The line might be right at my toes today, and maybe a football field tomorrow. Whatever I am comfortable to do, I will do, and nothing more. I have recently moved back to my home town and this is where my family of origin lives. When I left 8 1/2 years ago I was a different woman. I will respect myself enough to show the world that I am deserving of Love and respect, and give with compassion, not guilt or obligation.

  6. DeDe took the words out of my mouth! I’ve spent my life, perpetuating a LIE, that everything is O.K. It certainly is NOT. I need to be able to Re-Write that part of my life… To move on, leave them to figure out their own B.S., and try to finally have a life, with NEW people in it, rather than this life of isolation.

    • Love this, Erin! That’s exactly how I feel, it’s not okay, and I’m not going to pretend it’s okay and other people can either “play nice” or I’m moving on. Time to take care of me ’cause I’m worth it.

  7. I drive a school bus. So at 62 I am tired on weekends. Family ..my 40 yr old has made this abt. Him.cruel. he has it all. As and hes taken the 4 grankids here. Ive had one full day with them. There ismore..this weekend is rest and clean. Wis. Watch movies and clean. one thinthing i can do..pray..for direction. I have a few people i can relate too on facebook..work on scrapbooking.

  8. I have been in a dead end marriage for 16 years and I can’t take it anymore. This is the years I want to change all that and give myself a chance at happiness.

    • Hi Vani-

      I can relate! I know that for myself, doing nothing in a marriage that didn’t feel right, where I was coasting and not present — did not help things. It was not a solution. It took some courage and a surrender, but being willing to face the issues in my relationship and deal with them, helped me move forward and really see the truth of it — that it wasn’t working for me. I felt freedom and relief during a trial separation – and it all went forward from there!
      You can do this – to be who I am and live freely is one of the biggest gifts I can give to myself. And to those around me. Peace.

  9. I need to leave the family home, but I cannot figure out where to go. I need to retire from my current position, but I’m afraid I won’t have anything to do. Sad. Lonely. Afraid. All of my confidence seems to have died with my husband.

    • I’m sorry for your loss, Tracy. I felt like I lost all my confidence after my mom died, like I didn’t know what was under my feet anymore, I was drifting in space. Slowly I have found ground under my feet again. So I think that loss of confidence is just part of the process, part of the loss…. I am holding the vision for you that bit by bit you will re-build your sense of self…it’s coming…hang in there and know there will come a time when you are strong and well again. Not now, not yet…but when you are ready in your own time, in your own way….

  10. I needed to read this…. I so need to rewrite! After losing my husband a year and a half
    Ago to cancer, I never expected this to be my journey! A widow at 44. And I was scared,
    lost, sad, angry….. I met someone and thought I’d found happiness again but soon my days seemed like there were more tears than happiness…. Fear made me hold on tight when I realize I really need to let go and rewrite SO much!!

  11. What a great question. Certainly one to ponder. It’s funny how the concept of “rewrite” is so totally foreign. I found your website a month or so ago when I saw a post on Facebook about people not knowing they can leave (grief). Wow, yes – so simple but also so foreign. My husband died 5+ years ago and although I thought I was moving on….those words about not leaving grief were so inspiring….yes, hope could we not even know that we were there. And for me, waiting for permission. Permission from who? From myself. Although I think we have to stay as long as we need to and then we stumble on something that sheds a light and lights the way. I grieved a lot of losses while I was there, besides my husband’s…ones I hadn’t taken the time to grieve before. I did a lot of spiritual work and figuring out who I was without a significant other – I didn’t like that time, but I think it was important. I think the first couple rewrites are about today being better than yesterday and maybe not about happy but about feeling more secure & safe. Now it might be time to think about happy…..have no idea what that looks like. I think it’s hard to consider so many options when you spent a lot of time just in survival mode, but I am sure going to look forward to figuring it out.

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Christina Rasmussen

Welcome to the Message in a Bottle page, here you will find wisdom, truth and tools for you to start over. Make sure you sign up at the top to be sure to receive it in your inbox every Friday.