The Real Mothers of Mother’s Day


It is so easy to say the words, Happy Mothers Day’ and be done with that.

I see so many websites, so many articles on the top 10 gifts for Mother’s Day.

It is almost as if we forget about The Real Mothers of Mothers Day.

So today we will remember them and honor them.

Today I think about all the mothers who were born to have children but never have.

I call this loss invisible.

As the world forgets that these amazing women have to endure endless years of grief.

That they are mothers to all the unborn children they dreamed of and thought about every day for years.

Today I also think about the daughters and sons who believed that their mother would be with them longer than she was.

I call this loss premature.

As they still need their mom to guide them.

The daughters and sons had to grow faster and learn to live without the person who was here to love them unconditionally.

And unconditional love is our birth right. (Click to Tweet!)

Today I think of all the step mothers who have stepped in to love and care for children they did not birth, but yet love as if they did.

And all the step mothers who find it hard to be a mother to a child they share with someone else, with another woman, the ex- wife of their husband.

They keep on trying, hoping and doing the best they can.

Nobody talks about those mothers and nobody sees them as true warriors as they have a battle in their own home every day. This loss is also invisible as nobody truly knows how it is to mother a child who does not want you.

Today I hold your hand if you are a grandmother that had to mother her own grandchildren because your daughter passed on or left on her own. I call this loss unnatural.

Today I hold your hand if you are a mother who can no longer see, touch or hold your child in your arms. I walk with you. In silence. I walk with you in respect. And I find a way to travel the depths of sorrow you have to live with every single day. Especially on Mother’s Day.

Today I think of you if your children have left you behind in a nursery home, in another town or city, far away. Angry at you for whatever reason. Know that you will always be their mother, their real mother.

Today I think of you if you are a single mother. A mother who has to learn to be the father who is no longer here. I think of you every day and every night when you wrestle with your young kids trying to be all that you can be. I bow at your feet.

For me, all of the above mothers are The Real Mothers of Mothers Day, they are the heroes that walk amongst us.

Celebrate them with me this weekend. And make them feel special as they need those flowers more than anyone else.

With love,

Christina
www.secondfirsts.com

Comments

    • My FIRST greatest blessing was the gift of my dear beautiful MOTHER…
      my greatest and most fulfilling achievement was being blessed to have my dream come true to become a MOTHER and THREE TIMES…
      This is your most beautiful piece, yet, Christina…
      HAPPY HAPPY MOYHERS’S DAY!!!

    • I have been a single mom and a step mom. I’ve lost a baby. I am an empty nester. My current husband won’t honor me on mothers day. I do have a grown son and his family, they are my joy! Thank you for what you do. I have your book and am studying it.

    • Beautiful..although it did make me cry..Also makes me think of all the mothers..who for whatever reason , cant be with their children and say , “Not to worry , well do it another day . ” When in fact , on Mothers Day their heart aches , as they watch the mothers with their children and wish they could be with their own babies. Nicely said Christina!

  1. So very beautiful. I cannot express enough, how deeply your words touched my heart. I am the mother who was meant to have children, but never did. This brings to mind a phone call that I received a few years ago from a gentleman who wished me a Happy Mothers Day. I will never forget the tenderness in that call, and how wonderful it made me feel to hear those words. I suspect his heart and soul knew what Christina conveyed in her message. Christina, thank you for bringing dignity and beauty to all aspects of life and motherhood. You are a blessing!

  2. So beautiful, I am blessed to be a mother to twin girls, but as I was becoming a mother I was losing mine to cancer. Thank you for recognizing how on my own joy of this day, I still feel loss. I still needed her guidance, and we lost her too soon.
    This was perfectly written !

  3. Christina, Your message today touched my heart in a very special way as I have a daughter who was unable to carry a baby , HOWEVER, I volunteered to carry the pregnancy for her!! IVF was done, with embryo transfer to me and at age 49 , in 2000, I delivered my precious grandson, perfectly healthy !! I KNEW in my heart as my intuition ( God ) spoke to me, I was able to accomplish this amazing gift to my precious daughter and son-in-law. I have a special bond with my grandson as he grew under the heart of a loving ,caring, amazing woman, his Grandmother!! He is a Blessing to us!
    Blessings and your family to you on Mothers Day! Celebrate all we do as mothers.

  4. Thank you, Christina. My divorce was almost 9 years ago but the biggest challenge of my life has been with my oldest daughter NOW. Thank you for celebrating mothers in all circumstances, and Happy Mother’s Day to you.

  5. Christina
    Thank you so much for this message. I
    am a mother of two. My son is forever
    31 years old. He resides in heaven for
    The past 3 1/2 years. My daughter is not
    Speaking to me. So I won’t have either
    of my children to call me on mother’s
    Day. Your message really made me feel
    better.

    • Mona know that you are not alone and that we will all walk this path together. I wrote this letter for you and for all the mothers that have a tough time. I am so very sorry for your son and for what you are going through with your daughter. Please do something special for you tomorrow!!

  6. I am the mother who lost her youngest child to suicide. She was also a mother. I celebrate myself today for having to live without my child all these years, and still be able to smile. Thanks for the article.

  7. We have to realize that being a woman is the hardest yet most exquisite job on earth and we should not want to trade that away. The soul that nurtures other living things from babies to animals is something we inherit in our souls. A mom has so many definitions because to many people we play the role of mom, even if it not a birth mom, but a mom of choice. We have to take pride in our contribution to someone else’s life where we have implanted the seed of our goodness, and they carry it with them forever.

  8. I went through 7yrs of infertility… Lots of doctors,, drugs, surgeries, money and heartache! Grateful every single day for my two miracle boys! I can still remember well the pain of being motherless and my heart especially goes out to those who find themselves in that difficult position this Mother’s Day…Prayers and Love and Light to each of you! <3

  9. I am a grieving mom and a stepmom to a couple great young adults, oh and a step- grandma. There isn’t a word that can define how much I miss my daughter.

  10. Thank you for sharing. I’m blessed to have a wonderfully traditional and happy experience being a mom, but being a daughter on Mother’s Day always makes me sad.

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Christina Rasmussen

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