It is never too late to be a rebel.


“Stop swimming with the sharks…Christina…

I heard myself say the other day.

Go find the dolphins….

The voice continued.

“You might have to find a different ocean to call home. 

But there is more than one sea, 

and more than one way to swim.” 

What was that I thought?

Me swimming with sharks?

Never.

d2ce478fe88459e6f40fe4d87ee9c510But then I started to look closer and closer and started to see something I had never seen before.

Not only was I swimming with sharks but the longer I stayed the more shark like I was becoming.

But how do we give up our ocean?

How do we find somewhere else to swim?

These waters have taught us everything we have ever known.

These sharks are our brothers and sisters.

You see, we are born in one ocean and we learn to swim there.

As time goes by we find out that our ocean is not the only one.

But the fish we know is better than the fish we don’t.

So we stay.

And we really shouldn’t.

But how do we start paddling away?

How do we leave our ocean?

There is only one way that I can see.

And that is the rebellious way. 

We have to rebel towards the life we subconsciously built. (Click to Tweet!)

Towards all the things we don’t like to have in our house, but we have because they are a part of the ocean we live in.

Towards the relationships we have and we don’t like.

And if you think its too late to be a rebel, well that is what I think about that:

It is never too late to be a rebel. 

In fact the older we are the more rules we will dare break. 

And we will brake them with such wisdom and such perfection that we will find ourselves swimming with the dolphins before we know it.

The dolphins in our life are the people who make everything seem easier.

The people who just get who we are without us having to say anything.

The people who can laugh when we laugh, and cry when we cry.

These are the people we were always meant to be with.

And just because we were taught to swim with the sharks it does not mean that we can’t swim with the dolphins going forward.

I don’t know about you but I have felt very rebellious lately, and the more shark like the people around me behave, the more rebellious I get.

The more dolphins I find. 

Here’s to new waters.

Christina

www.secondfirsts.com/book

Comments

  1. The older I get I realize more and more that “It’s Never Too Late” for anything. I love your article! It took what could be a hard subject for the sharks to read and made it seem like the dolphins are the way to go! I wholeheartedly agree with you, and like you I am beginning to swim with the dolphins. Dolphins play, enjoy their lives and don’t judge, in my opinion. Pure bliss! Thanks for sharing your heart Christina…
    Make it a Great Day,
    Diane

  2. I started doing that over a year ago. It started because my now ex husband had been diagnosed bipolar and was really really ill. Mental illness scares people. For us it was worse because that is our career…therapist and psychiatrist. People stopped calling. Stopped inviting me out to do things. Or they just ignored me. Even family. The worst was my best friend, Kim. She finally had her first baby at age 43. I’d always been there to “rescue” her. She’s one of those people who is very intelligent in school and her career, but who list lacks common sense and common decency. I was there when her dad died. When her career almost fell apart. I helped her get out of an abusive relationship and gave her a place to live just a couple months before my first child was born. She actually was there for that. With me in the hospital. At that time we lived 4 hrs apart. 4 years later I moved back home and actually lived all of 4 miles from her. We never talked. She didn’t know my children (by then I had 4—this is a 18 year awakening). She only made time for me when she needed me. When my world fell apart, she wasnt there. Fast forward…she has her princess. I get the announcement. I call. I text. Leave messages. I wanted to meet her. I thought that becoming a mom may have changed her. I saw the christening pics on Facebook and my heart just broke. I cried…But not for long. You see, I realized I already knew she was a shark. I just didn’t want to believe the girl who painted my toes when I was 14 could care so little for me. So I tried calling. No answer. So I wrote her an email. It wasn’t mean. If anything it was heartbreaking. And I broke up with the woman I had called my best friend for 3 decades. Her response? It was all about her. She honestly didn’t get how hurt I was that I had never met her daughter in over 2 years when we lived less than 5 miles apart. That’s when I knew I had left that ocean….or was beginning to. That led me to finally divorce my husband. That’s another story, but all my dolphins supported me. I have new friends. Still have some old. Tracy is one dolphin who will never leave. We’ll sit in rocking chair in our old age and still laugh and love. Because no matter what. ..we are there for each other unconditionally. Leave your sharks. Who knows…they may decide to find you in your new ocean.

    • Maybe it is more than coincidental that all of the people who really get to know you leave your life. This is a public page about grieving, and your story reads like you have been a victim your whole life. Perhaps you should take a look at yourself and how you relate to people instead of blaming those who set boundaries with you because you are unhealthy. It sounds like maybe you are borderline and need to seek help so you can take some responsibility in your relationships. Good luck as a dolphin!

  3. i’ve had a fairly good life. depression and suicidal tendencies has been a part of that. i’ve been without the latter for a very long time. the former still comes in waves of grief, until recently.

    the past few weeks i’ve been contemplating a similar conception – i’m not depressed, i’ve no one to relate with . . . the MidWest boy “always different” grew up to be the MidWest man who lost his time to be an active father. without support, the mind gets muddled – toxic – Fukushima … not conducive for life.

    i’ve been in oceans when my heart longed for rivers & streams. (thank you TLC) i’m from the Ozarks.

    the synchronicity in this timing of my thoughts and just getting to this writing, Christine … THANKS! i’m headin’ for fresh waters.

  4. I was raised a Shark. I needed to be a Shark.It was Not being allowed To Speak at my Mom’s Funeral. Why? I wasn’t at my Dad’s Funeral. Why ?I had just come back from Burke Rehab & Both my lungs collapsed . No one ever told me what was wrong with me. I think getting those 65 pounds of medical records & spreading those 8000 pages of Condensed records on my floor here in Michigan & having to to pick out just a few from Greenwich/Yale Hospital & a few from Burke Rehab in NY & Conn. I am a NYeer born & raised. But I am in East Lansing Michigan..& I don’t Heal. So now that Nuero Psych is completed. My Husband of 18 years, been with for 22 years, died very soon after I came home at 65 lbs but those “Sharks I Trusted” my Brother & sister had their feet up my ass, & I was so terrified. I will Not Be Threatened. I’ll go to the Washington Post & NY Times to the Man who does everything for everyone but has Screamed at me since my illness. Broken up my Family & as early as last week said I was Living Large & all this is On Me. “I Love You” is added.No one left my home unscathed. My Brother goes to sleep thinking he is not enough. My Brother, the oldest who I’ve watch go after his young children..No he doesn’t Hit them but that is Terrifying for a child. He will Never Be Enough. There is Only a 5 year difference between us. His Children Range from 40 to 10. This is his 2nd marriage to a young woman who thinks he is a good man. He hides what & how he speaks to me. No one disagrees with him. When Your Persona is in Conflict with Your Heart..Anyone is going to have a problem. I have My Own Back On Everything. There is No One Who Cares about Me. And In Finding Out That My Illness Effects Me as It Has..There is an Urgency to Get My Writing Going Again.
    I have to go over my budget with his asst. His appendage on Tuesday. I’ve gotten the results of my nuero psych & Ive been working with a memory therapist at my apartment & start the OT & Organizational Skills, in my apartment, which I scored in the 9% is booked thru May. I will be My Own Advocate.I will get help for as long as it is beneficial. I have my own money. Six 1.2 years left. I foolishly trusted my Brother to deal with.I was Not in my right Mind. Now, 8 years later..Both my girls Broken..I’ve Become a Business. From my Glamorous Mom, my girls only Grandma..I got a warm coat she wore when my Brother brought her from Florida to up East as she lived & died from Alzheimers at the end of September 2014. . He exhumed my Dad’s Grave & brought Him Up East. After the Budget, I will get back to My Soul Path..My Writing. I Just Want To Walk Away From The Toxic Cruelty. The Denial & Such Lack of Compassion all the money in the world couldn’t hide their Blindness. Denial & Cruelty is a world I don’t live in. He said I was living large & he’d keep reminding me how much money I have. I’ve lost $150,000 since September? I asked him Not to Remind Me. ..I’m Living Large. I’ll do the Budget some time tomorrow. I Changed Health Insurance & My Youngest goes to MSU. Can’t wait to see my new glasses since I don’t have that on my new insurance..But the best people will be helping me. I Just want to Walk Away & find a New Ocean filled with Dolphins. I will then be able to Uninstall my old dragon, install the new one & Complete my Novels . I just want to walk away. Love Does Not Hurt. I am treated Better By Strangers in Michigan.I also believe I’m completing my books this year..& My Manager has Editors Waiting So Yes, I will work to not engage. I al already in a new Ocean..I’ll be more mindful of your heart touching words Christina ..Thank you so much. xx

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Christina Rasmussen

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