When my husband died seven years ago I panicked.
Even though there was a small life insurance to keep me going for a while, my mind could not rest.
Every time I looked at my very young daughters I would worry about their future.
The money would last us so long.
So I went and got an entry-level job, making minimum pay in the
I was 34 years old at that time and I was being trained and scolded by a 25
year old on how to copy data from a form to the computer.
Can you hear me screaming?
Can you see me dying a slow death?
Sorry for the direct nature of this email.
Oh my Goodness.
I have no words to describe to you how I felt.
I hated my life every day.
Not only was I grieving my husband and had two little kids at home without any help whatsoever, I was working next to a young girl who dedicated her every day to giving me a hard time.
I remember the elevator ride to the 10th floor every day. Taking me to my very small cubicle.
I would just close my eyes and pray that my day would go by really fast so I could get out of there.
I remember once, I sent out a letter to an Executive that got lost in the mail and the big boss treat me like I was the most stupid girl in the world.
I broke down that day.
I was embarrassed, humiliated and I could not stop sobbing.
Someone came to ask how I was doing.
They thought I was crying because I was missing my husband.
But I was crying because I was losing my identity as a smart woman.
I was being reduced to nothing.
But guess what?
I did not leave.
My hidden formula: Money =happiness was reinforced somehow.
So I started working harder, longer hours.
I would get back on that elevator and ride all the way up to the 10th floor waiting for the torture to begin again.
I thought if only I got promoted.
If only I had a bigger salary everything would be better.
I did get promoted.
I did double my salary and then some.
But those years at that company were not years spent in my body.
Those years were trying to prove that money would make everything better, including pain.
That formula was wrong.
What I am here to ask you today is this:
Are you on a quest to make money or are you on a quest to be happy? If you are on a quest to be happy you must reverse the formula:
Money=happiness to Happiness=Money
1. Shift your thought from “I need money to have a better life.” to “I need to feel alive and the money will come.”
2. Make a list of all the things that make you happy and I would spend at least an hour a day doing those things.
3. Look for a job in places that bring you closer to that ‘alive’ feeling. If you love to talk to people go find a job with people around you. If you love to use your hands to create, then use your hands to create. If you love to write. Start writing. How will you pay your bills? By not taking the elevator ride to the 10thfloor and hating yourself and everyone around you.
4. Stop looking for security and start looking for freedom. Your brain has told you that you have to endure a bad job so you can pay the bills. It is not true. I think grief makes us stupid. Grief makes us lose our confidence. Grief makes us afraid. Grief makes us forget who we are. Sorry I am so harsh. But grief isblinding.
5. Look for your new identity. Instead of allowing the weakest most afraid part of you to be in charge. Listen to the part of you that tells you to conquer the world. To make your dreams come true.
6. Don’t kill the dream so you can die with more money in your account.
7. Look for a job that respects your brain enhances your strength and makes you feel like you have a purpose.
8. Say this out loud every day: Happiness=Money.
I resigned from the job that was my identity killer on April 9th 2010.
That day became my new birthday.
I am now close to three and a half years old.
I get to help thousands of people every day build the life they dream of.
I took that Life Insurance and invested it in www.Secondfirsts.com and in www.thelifestarters.org
All of it. Yep. You are my investment.
And I never felt richer, happier and more alive.
Give your time to the people that matter.
Think of giving money to the life you want instead of using your life to make money.
I hope that the day I die I would have zero money in my bank account but a really large legacy.
Today think about your legacy.
Think about your freedom.
Think about what makes you come to life.
And start spending time in that space.
Money will follow.
But make sure your bank account does not keep your life locked in.
Give your money away.
Spend your money and make the people around you happy.
You will then be one of the richest people you know. Making money was never about YOU. It is about who you get to help with that money.
PS. Share your 10th floor story and how you got out of the job that was killing your identity here!