The Ghost of Grief


In my quest to free people from the eternity of grief,

I stumbled upon an unexpected ghost.

At first this ghost looked smaller than grief.

It looked insignificant in front of the terror that grief presented.

I wasn’t concerned.

Until… it persevered after grief’s last scenes.

This ghost stayed on stage.

The stage of our life,

and it messed up with our future.

It locked us up with invisible chains.

It spoke to us in whispers that no one else could hear.

You see, we were used to the grand presence of a broken heart, but now this was manifesting in a new way.

Invisible, silent and without any warning.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What stays after grief ends?

The most surprising symptom of grief.

Unworthiness.

This is the killer.

The multiplier.

The ghost.

We can’t make it go away.

We can’t see it.

We can’t hear it.

And we may never even know that it was there sleeping in our bed every night.

Sneaking inside our fridge.

Dressing up in our closet.

Showing up in our bathroom mirror.

Ingrained in our shadow.

Inside our words.

I have seen thousands of people being able to work with their grief, mend their broken heart and re-enter life.

And yes that is important.

But only until Unworthiness catches up with them.

However, I know one thing for sure.

Unworthiness is not immortal.

Certainly not self-sustained.

Unworthiness needs to be fed.

Needs to be nurtured to grow.

It needs to stop receiving love to survive.

I might not have eradicated unworthiness but I have learned to put it to sleep.

With one small action.

 

Finding the proof of our own value.  

I don’t care how much and how far you have to look to find your proof that you are worthy.

Start now.

Start looking.

Search your memory.

Look for your worthiness in your past.

Inside your house.

Call your friends and ask them why they love you.

Look for your old teachers.

And if you are lucky enough to have loving parents,

go pay them a visit.

Whatever you do, do not stop searching until you find your value.

Trust me it is there.

When you find your first proof,

hold on to it.

Until your next adventure in the wild jungle of unworthiness.

With tremendous value,

Christina

 

Comments

  1. Beautiful, Christina. Thank you. So true, this silent disease called unworthiness. But not only is unworthiness not immortal, as you say, but it is also not our truth. It is merely our THOUGHTS of our unworthiness that have power over us. When we seek our TRUTH, we are reminded of our value, and we begin to be set free from our deep-rooted fear that we are unworthy.

  2. In learning to love ourselves, we find our worthiness. I feel it is very important to grow and and nurture that everyday.

  3. maybe I saw this before , I really don’t know, what I do know is this speaks to me right now , the place I am at right now! I began to cry as I read this, I needed this, thank you for being in my notifications today , first thing I saw when I logged on to FB and will be in my thoughts the rest of the day , I will act upon the suggestions offered to find my proof ! I know it is there…..

      • I am crying as I read this. My father died 14 years ago today. He was my biggest fan and my hero. Life has never been the same. I cried through Mass this morning as I don’t know who I am supposed to be. I have raised children, rescued dogs, cared for 4 very ill parents. I am an nurse and I became a lawyer at 40. My husband insisted I go to church with him. I went begrudgingly. Who knew? The judge I served as law clerk for long ago was there and came to say hello. She spoke at my Dad’s funeral. She is on an appellate court now. I don’t see her often. She let me cry and gave me to 11:59 tonight to make sure I fully understood what I had to give to the world and my worth or else…I so needed this today from both my Judge (and God, our highest Judge) and from you Christina.

  4. Another wonderful bit of wisdom to get us back on track! I know that “UNWORTHINESS” is my BIGGEST enemy, and so reading this was a gift that I am thankful for!

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Christina Rasmussen

Welcome to the Message in a Bottle page, here you will find wisdom, truth and tools for you to start over. Make sure you sign up at the top to be sure to receive it in your inbox every Friday.